When The World Zigs, I Zag

Conflictions

2010-09-06T23:00:00.007+08:00

In indecent times we commit the most decent crimes. Crimes of towards our own heart. Ones attempt to circumvent the natural bearings we are set upon, such would bring nothing but an intense and irreproachable disillusionment of the possibilities that may be....

Marriage

2010-03-03T01:32:00.003+08:00

Your favourite flavour of chocolate is peppermint crisp, and then one day the new cherry ripe is being released. You cant try that cherry ripe....

PS. I've always loved my peppermint crisp.

Jensen

The Dam

2009-11-15T15:25:00.003+08:00

How does one eat an elephant?

What was once free is but momentarily hindered, held back by forces out of its control. All crevices covered. The flow is now but nil. Slowly through time, walls crack, steel rusts, clay erodes. Slowly, excruciatingly. First a trickle, then a stream and soon without warning a torrential flow gushing through. Uninhibited, lively flowing onwards towards the next leg.

Bite by bite.

Jensen Tan

Make Tomorow, Today.

2009-11-01T23:46:00.005+08:00

How does one attempt to fit a square into a triangle?

The is now only one law to live by, time should never be wasted. Live, eat, sleep, drive, read, breathe, drink by it.

Cut it in half I suppose?

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. ~ Gerald Vaughan

Jensen Tan

Nitrous anyone? Fancy a laugh?

2009-10-20T01:45:00.009+08:00

Distancing myself from the world, propped up on my swivel I ponder the past month and more. Running things the way I did. Did I do it right? I believe so. It seems to have turned out alright for the most part. things seem relatively on track. Whats passed has gone and is now but a curve I will cherish and instill within myself for the ages to come. I hope it stays but a memory. Let the rest of this year run smooth. Let me have some peace. Let my life be a little normal then most. Let it smooth out in to sweet nothings of beautiful moments with beautiful people. But lets face the facts. That was never going to be my reality. Anyone know where my map is? I cant seem to find myself on it.

Helmet on, Harness strapped, rollcage spot welded, NOS full, electrics removed, fire wall dropped, seats booted, rolling stock deep, full slicks strapped, lexens put in, dry carbon honeycombs fabricated, powerplant rebuilt. Can someone make sure the radio is left in? I'd like to still be able to chill to sum tunes on this crazy ride.

Thank you all who have been there

Jensen Tan

Static

2009-10-14T11:22:00.005+08:00

The relevence of satic is its individual cracks. Each crack and pop resonates distinctly shaping how this seemingly overlooked stream of importance sounds. We have to understand and appreciate each and every crack. A pianist plays music through chords and notes, each chord is a construct of particular notes and each note is the the effect of the resonance of 3 strings. Each string the product of multiple wires woven and wound. The complicated nature of a piano is a beautiful thing. Each wire integral the the output of a single note and each note a member of chord, The accumilation of such complicated simplicity is but that of music.

Jensen Tan

Control

2009-09-18T08:40:00.002+08:00

Sooner or later you will realise you can only control your own body if that, sometime this vessel of mine will charter its own course with whats ment to be, I cant help it. I wouldnt change it but I dont understand it. Perhaps the heart must betray the mind in order to get us where we truly want to be. If only these binding inhibitions would allow me this peace.

Out of this club - PCD Ft R Kelly.

Jensen

Lolmance :D

2009-09-12T18:25:00.004+08:00

Family-mance

Bromance

Girlmance

Ice-cream-mance

Study-mance

Bromance

I mance you!

Jensen

Current....

2009-09-12T02:46:00.003+08:00

Current Name: Kruzada

Current Age: Young

Current Mood: Mellowed the eff out

Cuurent Worries: None

Current Stimulants: Multiple Tic Tacs

Current Tune: Lucky - Jason Mraz Ft Colbie Caillat

Current Wants: Petrol, I cant get lost without it.. I knew them darn rabs had sumthin over me. Grrr

Current Needs: Direction

Current Likes: Her

Current Fave Drink: Mountain Dew

Current Thought: Sky Diving?

Current Kicks: Timbs

Current Ideas: Sand + Boards + Mates + Pimpship + Road + Petrol + Food + Mountain Dew + Beef Jerky + Betty Burger + Dipping Dots + Pimpship Collections = Sexy Time

Current Location: UWA

Current Joke: Ciggs :P

Current Word: Vivacious

Current WTF?: Things... I cant explain.. lol why would you show me that pier jump vid! PHUCK!

Currently going to finish this blog on current stuff..

Kruzada

Gap

2009-09-03T03:41:00.003+08:00

The void that fills between what we cannot understand slowly expands and contracts at our will. Though seemingly endless this abyss may be, we charter the boats that cross the sea. It is within our own reach, it is within our minds that we are blind to the insolvent needs that we do not heed. Willingly, allowance for that gap to fill with what seems to be still. As soles hit deck and paddles break upon skin, We rupture what was only always there. The scar heals slowly as it is crossed. Leaving a reminder of the price paid to what was attained. If we do not cross, it will drive us insane.

Kruzada

Because, I love you

2009-08-28T02:03:00.004+08:00

Its because they are there that we take them for granted. Its because we see them all the time that we truly dont see them. Its because we are naive. Its because we don't truly comprehend what its like without them. Its because we are fools. Or maybe Its just me.

Assignment: Tell the people you care that you do. Forget the viral emails. Walk up to them and tell them you love em. =)

For my Grandmother, My Family, My Friends

Much Love

Jensen

Clarity

2009-08-13T01:37:00.003+08:00

But to a be fleeting found moment again against and time sometimes that they will who govern search, and fall define. short Sometimes and we we have are to left lose to ones our self own in devices. order

Life at 90 will be

2009-08-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

Limited Libido

Incomprehensible

Flabby

Enlightened

:)

Life at 70 will be

2009-08-09T23:21:00.002+08:00

Loquacious

Intriguing

Fluctuance

Epic

=)

Life at 50 will be

2009-08-09T23:10:00.002+08:00

Lethargic

Irriversible

Fortitude

Example

=)

Life at 30 will be

2009-08-09T23:00:00.003+08:00

Love

Illustrious

Family

Experimantal

:)

Life at 18 is

2009-08-09T22:54:00.002+08:00

Lust

Intricacy

Fabulous

Entertaining

=)

Life at 15 is

2009-08-09T22:36:00.004+08:00

Leashed

Immaturely infatuated

Friendships

Ego

:)

Life at 10 is

2009-08-09T22:31:00.003+08:00

Licking things

Imitating adults

Fighting for fun

Emperors of the sandbox

:)

Life at 5 is

2009-08-09T22:24:00.002+08:00

Laughter

Innocence

Fun

Elephants

=)

Clue

2009-08-06T01:28:00.013+08:00

The once morbid truth that pops to mind when one envisions what was and what might be, is falling softly each and every time I reach out to take it. It spirals out of control when I seek to direct it. The wheels disengages when I crank the shaft. I don't know what this is really about.

To save you time, To save you pain.

Remember that a chain is but only as strong as its weakest link.

"If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. "

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."

Ernest Hemingway - Shotgun user...

For they who seek answers to questions that may never be asked.

Jensen Tan

Failure

2009-08-05T00:21:00.007+08:00

The once smoldering embers of what was once a woodfire deteriorate slowly. Exchanged for one of gas. Crafted to imitate what is gone. Different body same face, we all cling to what we know. The unknown always intrigued man but the possibility of failure held inanimate the man with the brightest mind.

Do not lay waste ones mind to the fear of failure. You will not be better for it nor will the world. Setbacks are but the essence of learning and learning the essence of progress.

Jensen Tan

Love

2009-08-03T16:24:00.005+08:00

"Love is sacrificing for others"

Some words of wisdom from one of the greatest men to walk this earth.

Without him I have no idea who I would be.

For Uncle Albert.

Love Jensen

Trickle

2009-08-03T13:04:00.008+08:00

The slow and eventual flow of water takes many courses through the stream some seen, others hidden, it finds its own way when there is a blockage, its finds its own way when barred. There isn't much to stop it, metal will rust through, clouds will take it over, sands will erode, clay will crumble, The undetermined yet set course of the stream will be unpredicted but definite. Its direction evolving. The perpetual movement of the stream will not cease. With all our powers we can only do so much to hinder its movements but we will not prevail.

Wanna know what I'm telling you?

The stream is us. Find a direction. Find a goal. Find something to achieve. Be it small or big, find it. If stopped, go over, under, around. Double back and find a new path to the same destination. If others barricade you. Ask why? Take it, evolve and continue. Oh and you can re-asses your goals along the way. Life was never fixed. You only fail when you stop.

Jensen Tan

The relevence of static...

2009-07-28T21:05:00.004+08:00

The evidence of last nights chill cascades across the pane as I move from one slipstream to another. Changing paces, exchanging graces, we all pass another, pilgriming towards what seems to be the rest of our lives Lags are just headstarts in advance and headstarts, lags.

Cheapened be the thrill of such unrequited ambience of the warmth engorged from fluctuating manifestations. It is but what decides the moment that determines the hour of our lives. Let it be known that each moment shall hold its own in the tidal sea of waves.

Jensen Tan

Its been so long

2009-07-07T22:24:00.003+08:00

I haven't written in soo long I fear I forget how to write anymore, insane words of little meaning keep popping up and falling away as I try to recall and record, Its a strange time of year and perhaps one of the most ineffable half years to date. I don't really know what I have a achieved at all in these few months, it would seem that I walked a circle thinking it was a line, Perhaps the poorest representation of life I can find for there are always knots and frays, and plenty dare I say.

I will it so and so it shall be. Thy possesses power no more or less then what thy mind contrives.

Hope that makes sense, for my fingers write what they wish with no accord for my mind.

Jensen

Peace part two

2009-06-08T09:39:00.003+08:00

Seeing the chicks in the refractory,
38ft jumpers over the guys,
seeing the joy in others eyes,
golfing with lady luck in the midst of night,
watching a feinting bird take flight,
clubbing late into the night,
down south drives,
resisting what shouldn't be resisted,
magnificent food tours,
ice skating it through the winter,
shopping for the summer,
late night hot tubs sashes,
watching the rain wash away the the dirt,
zoning out to the playlist of my life,
finding that perfect form,
sleeping through all the static,
following the unknown,
this is the peace after thy flight

Happy Birthday baby sis, and Reakins.
With all my Love

Jensen

Peace..

2009-06-08T00:21:00.005+08:00

Its a calm wind blowing through the trees,
a distant plane leaving a trail in its wake,
a procrastinating student before his exams.
a family gathered for dinner with good company,
bros catching replays in the wee hours,
a child popping balloons,
a baby cradled in a strangers arms,
a mobile being dropped into the toilet,
a game of waste bin basketball,
a drive through the dark night,
a web of frost across a pane,
trench coat teachers turning up,
and little TJ running around.

That is what peace was.
May you find peace too.

For they who still search for world peace and they who believe it a fools dream.

Jensen

Duty

2009-06-04T13:12:00.003+08:00

Where does my duty lay? Life is just. I just can't see how.
Let there be peace I pray. In these times no man should ever go astray.
Life was always a bet, let there be no regret.

For my Family
With all I have
With all my Love

Jensen

Fallen from the sky.

2009-05-31T14:34:00.013+08:00

This is a picture.

There are only so many times in your life that you will look at something or someone and feel soo astounded, soo absorbed and attracted as if time froze around you. As each color grew brighter, each scent more distinct, each movement amplified, each sound acoustic. As we pray for the seconds to slow, time moves on unhindered and indifferent to our needs. Appreciate each moment like that for its beauty and grasp the catalyst with both hands because it only comes around every so often and once gone will flow on as only a moment once held lightly in your hands.

For Ah Boh

Much Love

Jensen

The Shot

2009-05-27T22:34:00.005+08:00

There are no dress rehearsals in life. Make the shot count. Don't think about it, Don't dream about it, just drain it and walk on.

Jensen

This is what it is

2009-05-23T03:31:00.004+08:00

Sparks fly, dreams die but in the end we all get by. Its life in its finest and in its worst that we appreciate this curse.

In the clandestine lives we lead, upon the secrets we feed. There is but one need for all of us to reach. One simple yet obscured view that we should meet. A fleeting yet uncompromising truth should be told to they who are bold. Bold enough to turn and burn you where you stand for they are the only ones that attention demands. We seek security in lies and deception in the idea the our information will go untested. With it we move at length to the breadth of society it will pillage our breath. This is our only legacy to they who know us enough to trial our perceptions and question our personal deceptions. They who care enough to hurt us so are mostly trying to save us the future blows. Let the truth be told to the bold for they will shape our mould.

For all the people who wander.

Jensen

There's only one..

2009-05-10T01:00:00.008+08:00

There's only one of her, There only ever will be. She holds the keys to life, mine, yours and the next guy. It is said that there is nothing stronger then her love for you. It true. Nobody will love you more or as unconditionally as her. Nobody will care for you with such warmth. She makes your lunch for school everyday. She irons the clothes that make you look crisp. She helps build the world around you and guides you through it all. She holds you when you are high and when you are low. She is probably shorter than you. She will be one of few to lecture you and have it matter.

Do us all a favour. Be good to her, show her you care and make sure she knows it. Cherish that time you share because it wont last forever. As you age so will she. Her face will crease slowly but surely. For each time she worries over you, sheds tears over you, laughs with you and smiles at you the lines will breach the surface. The wisdom and stories in each line will amaze you if you took a trip of nostalgia with her.

She knows you best. Possibly even better then you want to admit. Its true for me, its true for you. She might not say it but she can read your mind. Hiding behind that wall of glass you have no poker face. You only win the hand because she lets you.

One last thing. The greatest thing you can do for her is to be good. Prove her that you can be someone worthy of her love; show her that her efforts were not in vain. It is the only way you may ever repay all the debts you owe her.

To all of them, and to all who will be.

To my Dearest Mother. My Best Friend.

Happy Mothers Day

Love Jensen.

I hope I do you proud.

The next.

2009-05-07T12:46:00.007+08:00

To Uncle Siew

My dear friend of all my life. I hope in this passing you will find peace in the next life and strength to go on. You are but waiting for us in the next. I hope you will find comfort in the strength of your family and the love they have for you. I hope you will see through to guide them from where you are throughout their lives. I know we wont be seeing each other for a long time but in this time apart I hope that if I achieve as much in this life as you have in your full though short lived one I will go a happy man. Let it be known that you were truly a loving father a good husband and a true friend. I will never forget you. Your kindness and warmth will live on through Lina, Jenny and Susan. Thank you for your friendship.

We honor the fallen by being all be can be, doing all we can do and seeing all we can see. With the grace of god we will honor them and uphold their memory.

In Memory of the late Uncle Siew.

Love

Jensen

Kevin and Sandy

2009-05-05T01:35:00.008+08:00

The bitter sweet lives we lead all seem to culminate into a climax and myriad of twists and turns the we will one day look back upon and probably only remember parts of . I probably will remember very little of it apart from the moments I have instilled in the genius product of people called Eastman and the likes. Its not that the moment wasn't epic enough for me to remember but that it will be but one of many and fade in to my memory like today or tomorrow. what will live on is the product of that day. A product many years in the making and maturing always. A couple of fine people well deserving of each other. Like salt and pepper they go together. You look at them and they will bring joy to your face, Kev playful up to his part in it all will still be giving fist pumps at the alter. Sandy well suited to his upbeat character and playful nature will keep him well in check. The wedding was but a formality to seal their lives together, and some would say forever as that's how this story will go. As Kev said there is but billions of people in this world and how in all of them did he find sandy. Well I guess we should mention that the mothers were well complicit in all of this. May there be much joy to you and all that surround you. I'm really happy I played my part as official head of bubble blowing activities :D

May your love inspire all around you. Cheers!

Jensen

35

2009-05-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

I'm working to say these words to someone someday, when I'm 35. Someone will ask me what am I doing now? I will say that I am quite simply retired. Oh yes, yes I will, 35 and onwards I will travel the world, see the wonders, feel the famines and understand the cultures. I'll get a globe and pepper it with darts. On to Venice to see the canals, to dine in the Eiffel tower in Paris, see the chateaus of the Europe's, The lights and sounds of Macau and Vegas, plains of Africa, the energy of New York, the passion in the playoffs, Oh soo many things to see and such little time. 35 and onwards we well be flying high. and one day when I am satisfied I will look back on a life filled with it all and smile at the memories that will carry me through my days. We should not live to work but work to live!

For Pahnnies and all her dreams.
Much Love

Jensen

A word from the wise.

2009-04-19T03:35:00.003+08:00

There are lessons to be learnt from wise words, Things that people take years to understand can be passed down in mere moments. I want to pass a message on to all who read. I know there are few who do, actually that's not the point, if I can get through to you then that's all I want to do.

There is nothing higher then family. Period. Family comes second to nothing. If you care to argue otherwise that's your choice. But in a world where 40% of marriages fail, you know things went fkin wrong somewhere. You fall in you fall out. But if you commit, you have kids don't you fking dare put anything before the family. The Mafia had it right. They just did things that were not.

Friends of family are family in a way, they are to me, don't mess with that balance. There are things I want to say but I don't think are appropriate. You should never show favour to family. You may get along better with one then another but all are equal. No one holds more or less value.

Its a shame I'm writing this really, in truth its not really for you reading but people who should really know better. If you can take from it then I'm happy with that. Its just something that I needed to say. In life there are some rules that people live by, Some live by trivial rules or superstition and what not. If it works for them so be it, but all people should live by these

Family First. There is no exception.
Respect your elders. It seems that this has been forgotten through the years.

There are more but they top the list. I just wonder where the hell did chivalry go? I guess we live in a world where many have allowed morals to be laid to rest.

For my Mom with all my love.

Jensen

To awesomeness and beyond!

2009-04-11T10:35:00.007+08:00

Talked to Binxy today, gosh I miss her. we got a dealio going. Im going to be awesome and so will she. ahahahaha YES! You read correct! Awesome we will be and awesome days line the years boyond today. Gone where the days of commitments, the days of Xmas Island and not having much time to myself. The days of circus, music and all the jazz that kept me going. I want it back and I want it now! Darn me and wasting my years doing nothing for so long. Life feels better already.. I think Il be a paramedic... I hope they let me... or a bartender.. a flair bartender..

Missin ya Binx!

Much Love
J-ayam

For reasons unknown we walk...

2009-03-30T13:04:00.013+08:00

The absence of fire dims the world around us. Do we fuel the fire with more coal or do we take the quilt and hope it suffices.

Life is but a string of many small decisions culminating in many big ones and in the end when we look back, what we have to show is what we did when the apex of each decision were upon us.

Dont look for meaning in life let life show its meaning to you. Sometimes we just dont see whats in front of us.

For Wynnie and Agnes.
Much Love

Jensen

...

2009-03-22T11:09:00.004+09:00

Lying under the trees,
watching the whisps of mists that bring me bliss.
I only regret that you are not here to share it with me.

Jensen

The Wall

2009-03-15T14:15:00.007+09:00

18 going on 19. There be 96 moments saved for display. Along the way there were a couple tears and a million cheers. Its not the ending that defines you but the way you got there. I wanna be something one day, but I don't wanna get there the wrong way. I wanna go there straight and not bend the lines. Ill be damned if there were no more pain in my life. It keeps me sane. if there were no pain how would we know when we are truly happy? If there were no heartbreak how would we know love? It is life's mission to put us through it all so when we come out we are stronger and wiser then the prior. Not everything is good in life but mine has been filled with more happiness then I can return. Thank you to my Family. Thank you to my friends. Id rather live a week with you by my side then a hundred without.

Never forget your roots, it is where you are from and where your starting line was drawn. As you run further from that line as it falls into the distance, a figment of your imagination perhaps. The day you cant imagine it is the day you have lost a little of who you are or at least of who you once were. Pay homage to your past and make peace with the present for life will be a long and exhaustive journey that you will star the lead and your finest hour may occur each and every day.

Life is such. and my wall is testimony to a life well lived, Thankful I am that I have a room still to fill.

Jensen

The Tiers..

2009-03-10T20:41:00.008+09:00

There's something Ive been contemplating for a while now, its about friends. I had an experience the other night one that made me realize something. Out with friends some a year old some lifelong. There's just something about friends that have been there with you from thick to thin, shared your hardship shared your tears and shared your glory. Lifelong friends are there, sometimes you don't speak for weeks sometimes for months but when you are with them others tend to be forgotten, not intentionally, not trying to place favour but there is just a bond between friends like that that wont be broken. If your an outsider to that bond I'm sure you will feel it, you will see how they interact you will feel the exclusion. Perhaps you will ask yourself why they left you out of conversations, out of jokes and paid you less attention then usual. Don't feel bad. It is just something you have to have to understand. Aidan, Kev, The Hoff. A highlight reel of memories amongst us from the days of Power Rangers in the sand pit, Balling on the asphalt, Real United and Birds Cant Fly, The 9 balls of Winmau, The band in my garage that turned into counseling sessions, Triple play baseball and laying out blueprints for your next sleepover, watching the exorcist in year 5 couped up in my music room. The Circus's, The Camps, The Snoring while awake, Handball, Bali, Club High and its $1 drinks, Rapping eminem on the benches, Kung Fu Fighting, Men In Blacking, Bob the Buildering, Orienteering, walking it out to Nelly. Years on from the Island, thousands of miles away, we still have guys day on V day, from CRT'S to Projectors, progressing through the PlayStation's. "Like old times" says Aidan and it sure feels like it. The future shines brighter with you guys by my side. That is the highest echelon of friendship you will ever find, or at least that I have experienced to date. If I ever run with the bulls I want you guys by my side. Friendship is a tiered thing, there is somewhat a hierarchy, friends who you consider lifelong, then the besties, then the friends, then the acquaintances. Sure there are exceptions to the rule. I'm just wondering what would a significant other be considered? Anyways, Just something on my mind I thought I would share. May we all make more memories in the lifetime to come!

Jensen

Back to school...

2009-02-22T13:18:00.006+09:00

Woah.. Talk about fun night out! what was there..... Drinks? Drunks? 16 year olds that managed to get in? Jellyfishes? 151's? Jaygers? Cordon Bleu? Girls? Guy? Harry Potters? Jst turned 19s? Jst Turned 21s? Team Splat? Team Leg Cramp? TEAM AWESOME? Hot metros dancers? even hotter atmosphere... in both senses.. Wingwomanin? Random drink tastings? Flash Phatography! Awesomeness abound!

The cover....

2009-02-14T02:32:00.003+09:00

There are things to be shared there are things that shouldn't ever be uttered outside of they who need to know. I don't know, perhaps I'm just going a lil nuts here, that's probably why I'm blogging at 2.45 in the morning. I said something to phannies today, something that I think really means something and holds value. To find out what a person really thinks about you or feels about you you have to show them what you are like at your worst. I don't mean go and punch them for no reason or run them down by being a total jackass. I mean show them you when you ain't all dressed up without the mask of powder and drawings all over your face. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a girl looking good and I wholeheartedly condone the use of makeup and what not. but if you were to see a girl in a Tshirt, mby some old kicks and jeans that are baggy, Something that she would wear to bed or something that isn't couture. Just plain old dardy laid back gear without the makeup or the glittery stuff. I'd rather be with that girl then the one who has dust all over her face all the time. There was a girl, and boy did she rock the mens button ups to sleep. Good times ( and no don't go negative on me). No don't look at me like that, I love a girl who looks good I wont lie looks do matter but all I'm trying to say is If you ever look at someone, If you are looking at character, see how they treat their parents, see how they treat their siblings and see how they treat their best friends. Forget the bareback she fits into, overlook the Patek Philipe he wears. That is only what they lead on to be. That is only at the most 1/5th of who you are looking at. The other 4/5ths you have to dig out for yourself. I don't know how much influence I will have, but for what its worth you cant replace a kind heart with a richard mille nor can you trade respect for Tiffany's. But heck don't let me kill the buzz of getting some lacoste kicks, or the joy of the new C Class. Just remember to look out for the friend who will still be there when you are homeless and the girl who doesn't care if you see her in boy shorts and a button down. Cause people like that are rare and worth holding on to.

Jensen

Change..

2009-02-11T23:49:00.006+09:00

It happens everyday, you cant help it nor do you ever really realise it until its in your face. You don't even notice the change in yourself. The difference in the Clothes you put on, the way you do your hair. The difference in the way you talk and the way you react to things. Its simple really, its uncontrollable and completely unavoidable. We all say at one point in our life that we wont change. "I wont change! I'll still be the same Jensen you met a year ago!" I lied. I cant be that guy forever and I dint want to really. Well I'm still Jensen just a little different. perhaps different things bring me joy. Speed back in to yesteryear and ask me what car I want. I would have told you a Nismo GTR Z-tune, I mean, whats not to love? A monoblock engine used only in the highest echelons of racing in japan in my very own street legal toy with a $250,000+ price tag? Ask me now and Ill tell you I'm pretty much happy with the family van that gets me from here to there.

I've witnessed change in everyone, friends become more into this less into that. Some realise they want something else from what they have been wanting for as long as they can remember. Its true that sometimes change can be for the worse, but is it really all that bad? Perhaps someone changes from Christian to Muslim, perhaps they go from Muslim to atheist? Is that bad change? or is it good? In all truth many would see it as bad. well if you were Christian and saw your friend become Muslim, Say what you will and fight it as hard as you can, but the way you see that person will have changed, even if its the smallest of changes. Its just human nature to do so. But after all is religion not but a state of mind? Don't take offence if you are reading this and thinking gee wizz this guy thinks that religion is but a state of mind. Because I don't. but think back 2 seconds and did you notice your change in your thoughts about me? Meh.. maybe you didn't. All I'm trying to say is that can you truly judge someone fully upon the actions that you perceive? Can you? Don't you owe it to the person to ask their state of mind when they made that change? Well unless they go and do something of a horrendous nature. In the end its all about understanding.

Change is fun, if you don't change you will probably get left behind. Don't fight it, its just a right of passage. Change is maturing, new understanding, development and insight. I don't know why I'm talking about change to tell the truth. Perhaps I'm just trying to convince myself and sell myself the whole change is good bull. Theres just been alot of changes in life, so much so recent, not all good though I'm trying to find the silver lining in each. Some I don't think I will ever find and others are becoming more and more wonderful, though I cant help but linger in the past. After all we must look back to see who we were and to look forward to who we are to become. So perhaps when you sense change, be it favourable or not, find that silver lining and make the change personal and something for you.

Changing Hearts, There is no replacement only growth and diiscovery.

Jensen

Sssssss

2009-02-09T15:34:00.023+09:00

Swings are fun. You go up, you go down. What else is there that can go wrong? There's wind in your face and laughter in the air.

Ski'ing is intense. There's only one direction that you go and you go fast. You bend your knees, shift some weight. The first few times you are pretty much on skates. You can learn alot from ski'ing. If you never took a lesson you can learn fast. You learn or you hurt trying. when things go downhill they must slow before they stop. Anything sudden may just cause great discomfort.

Snow rocks my sox. Its soft. It falls from the sky. Its edible and It makes a gloomy place seem beautiful. Oh and did I mention that snowballs are great fun to lug at people? Its true. Just don't let the snow get hard and you will have smiling faces all round, people with frozen hands and seemingly bad cases of shoulder snow.

Sleep, mmm even if its on a bench like a hobo, sleep is good for you. Slumbering your way through life though uneventful and possibly bad for you leaves the times when you are awake fresh and crisp as apposed to what you normally have. Colors are brighter, people are nicer, problems seem easier and sometimes even lectures are interesting. Though that's probably asking too much.

Shopping... ahahah must there really be an explanation for this one? You hand over the greens they dish out the goods and the world keeps moving round. Oh did you know that suits make you look important? True story.

The End

The Hearts Desire

2009-02-06T23:03:00.004+09:00

There is a saying from George Bernard Shaw. "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire. The other is to gain it." Right now I'm not quite sure how to apply it. I'm thinking my hearts desire has always been the same just varying from time to time. I wonder if my desire varies at all. Does it not mean I lost and regained my desire? Have I lived a far more tragic life then I thought I had? Perhaps my heart is just always confused and caught up in the moment. I just wonder, live by the heart or the head?

9th January 2009 Kok Wei's House M'asia

Solitude

2009-02-06T22:51:00.003+09:00

Surrounded by masses I stand. Family, friends and strangers to no end. I am an Island, perilous reefs hedge my shores. In perdition I lay, not burning but numbed of all thoughts and feelings. Drugged up and groggy I will stumble towards the only sane escape. The sounds that keep me humble. The music is my only friend.

1:04am 18th December 2008, Sarang Kims House Korea

I dont know..

2009-01-06T01:14:00.002+09:00

What, where, when or how and I know I don't know why. I just watched a movie, 7 pounds.
What is it about? I'm still trying to get my head around it. Where is it set? I don't think that matters, not one bit, not at all. When it was made? Who cares, recently. How? It was made so well, crafted to an avant garde. Why? You should ask yourself that question. Its going to mean different things to different people. Watch it, understand it, comprehend it appreciate it. Be amazed for it will teach you a great many things, and you will understand a good deal more about life. What did it mean to me? I'm still figuring it out but somewhere deep down I'm moved. I just gotta work out what has shifted, how and why.. That's all really

Jensen

The Cold

2008-12-20T19:03:00.003+09:00

Hey there. Globe trotting atm, in Korea!! Woo Its pretty nice here, the cold icy place seems to be numbing most of my pains. Its nice to be somewhere where there are adults to worry about meals and the safety of everyone and all you have to do is sit back relax and enjoy the ride, well at least half the time. Alot has happened these hols, not all good. I won't explain. If you know me then I probably would have told you. The snow is nice, ski'in is intense, good distraction. The long drives are going to do my head in. The lonesome moods will get to me soon I think. Hopefully there will be lots more distractions in the horizon, Im going to need them bad. I wonder If I will have some awesome moments this hols, the slopes so far have most certainly been the best! Zouk in singpore, jetski'in in penang. KK with the G'ma hopefully catch up with a bunch of people and meet new people along the way. Let the cold take me, let the distractions begin!

Jensen

Alter ego theory..

2008-12-05T02:22:00.002+09:00

Mmmm.. Something just occurred to me, the other day whilst in the waiting room at the docs with my grandma. Time mag from a while back was flipped open on my laP and headphones on to keep my head up in space. An article about Eminem was drawing my attention. Whoever the writer was, they had me with the ever so witty sketching of eminem. Oh btw, I like Eminem, he's a good artist, some of you may not agree with rap nor may you agree with his ideals or him but I think he is pretty brilliant and perhaps one of the best in his line of business. His songs hold meaning and they are actually good I think. Anyways, back to the article. The writer was making a point on how Eminem was a character of split personalities. Marshal Mathers, Eminem and Slim Shady. In an album it may be just one singer but it is actually 3 different personalities speaking. Its quite definable too, some songs he refers to himself as Marshal, others Eminem and the most slapstick of them belong to Slim. So the Q is, is this whats happening to me? Am I a different person around different people? Do I happen to write differently as Sonic? Do I act more mature as Xmas Island Boy? Is Jensen the mediator between the two? Gosh, I cant really tell the difference between my writing, as the writer cannot be his own critic. But I do want to know if this is happening to me. Given this is only a online blog but it may just be the same in the physical realm of things, Maybe I am 3 personalities that click on and off when needed, all controlled within a single body under the congress of one heart and the will of one brain. I wonder if there are anymore personalities within me. I know this though, I have noticed it recently. I can be unfairly harsh towards strangers, for that I am sorry but I guess that's just me, I will however try to keep that part of me in check, ohh and when I say that I am unfairly mean towards strangers I mean I always give them the benefit to prove that they are awesome =D which 99% of the time they do so all is good in J-town.

S4A

Jensen

abcdefghiloveyou..

2008-12-05T01:31:00.003+09:00

I love you, I don't know what to write these days, but those words seem to go through my mind quite allot. Don't ask me about it. Don't ask me who. You know who you are. You know I love you. From Under my nose to Lucky I see where we are, Come back to me soon won't you. Don't leave me waiting like this. Ill be here when you get back..

Sonicx

When honesty won't help where do you turn..

2008-11-30T16:34:00.002+09:00

What happens when the line "honesty is the best policy" fail? What do you do? what do you turn to? Do you Lie? Lies never end, they will never stop until the truth comes out. One Lie will breed another and aonther. Soon enough you will be tangled in the web you weaved with no loop holes to climb through. Just a thought on my mind these days.

Decisions, Im just wondering, what happens when you know your options. What happens when you don't want to accept it? Does it become an ultimatum? Does it make it any easier if you dont have options? I dont know but life seems to have mixed black and white into grey. A shade I'm fond of for shirts but nothing else really. Ohh well there will come a time when decisions must be made and actions taken, but I wonder if a delay in the works is for the best or will it multiply the effects.

Lifes smooting out, potentially the best and worst hols of my life so far. Lots of good times and some dark clouds in the horizon. I hope fate will be kind and let me be, even if the odds seem stacked against me.

s4a

Jensen

Decisions

2008-11-24T11:47:00.006+09:00

The threads that hold my life together, the things that if done wrongly or without careful consideration may result in a whole different life. How can I control a life that I cant even predict, This world will never wait for me. Like the butterfly effect the small things that I decide may change oh soo many things. How do I predict such? I don't get to turn back time, I don't get to give it another shot. Lets Just hope my Head is at peak performance in the coming weeks for I fear my heart my be in a state of great confusion. Lets be logical? Or will we let the Heart take charge?

On a very very HAPPY note. Happy Birthday Wynnie! and Happy Birthday Vince! Yesterday was pretty darn fun, Singstarin the night away, spa sesh at 1am, satay through the day, Good friends, close family and more. This is the holidays that I have been waiting for. Don't let me down now. lol though Saturday night was a whole different world I think I have decided on what I want. Let the fun times roll!

Jensen

Deja Vu

2008-11-20T08:17:00.016+09:00

Why does it always feel like this. It seems I'v been living my life on loop for a bit. Progress has been halted for the brains sake. I need a rest, I need to find out if this is still a test.

Drove off to the wonderful Resort and Casino last night. It was amazing (insert voice and enthusiasm from the incredibles)! lol truly wonderful stuff, lost some money on keno lol $3 again. Discovered why nobody goes to the ruby on a wednesday night and realised that 12 pm driving is the best time to take a wrong turn here and there, mostly because I dont have to fight the traffic to get back on track (Hmm I wonder if that actually applies to life somehow.. low traffic = easier to get back... probably does). Now I remembered why I wanted to visit Kings Park at night, thats one of few places where the peace is still left undisturbed and the stars might just show themselfs if the man made ones went out (though they hold thier own at times).

Found out a thing or two today, donno why I'm in anyway surprised. 24 hour pizza soccer spots aint all that fun unless the world cups on. Driving in places you dont know can take a lot of time to figure out, especialy if nobody else knows what direction to point you in. lol though I dont think I needed to find them out, there are other things that I realised that need more consideration.

Ahh.. boo Do you know that feeling of irratiation, the one where you are irratated by someone or something, I wont specify what but I am irrate, and you dont really want to be irratated. I know this sounds complicated, you are irratated, but you dont want to be. Can't I just be irratated and not wonder why? Clearly it isnt that easy.

The past few days are going to catch up on me soon, I just know it. One moment later on in the week its going to be bright and sunny and the next the lights will go out on me. Like the storm last night the drops will fall spaced and heavy but they will fall surely. I Don't know why I'm being pushed like this I dont really care why, there must be comprimise in the horizon. I don't know why I act this way sometimes too. I'v found that perhaps I am not who I thought I would be. Not what I want to be. Not in actions atleast. I'm going to change it so help me god there will be redemption for my actions. I'm going to try for there can be no progress without action.

Anyways, though the week has been one of great interest to me. perhaps one a little too intense. Lets step things back a gear. The holidays have come (though the late mornings will not) and I intend to see to it that some time is spent in rest and recovery. Not sure why but the last quater of this year felt a little dazy, all the missed hours seem to be getting the better of me. Let the sweet slumbers begin! lol not that it will happen with my intention>< That's all for now

Jensen

A story of songs...

2008-11-15T01:21:00.005+09:00

What would you do if it all ended tomorrow? Save room in this perfect world of ibiza mi amor, where the weatherman freaks out for an original fire for the moody Monday is but another brick in the wall. Maxine is a sad story, she never has her head in the zone, being a heartbreaker she moves from side to side. The tiny voices of the love cats who are afraid of the big bad wolf, runaway so they can relax and take it easy. They have a heart of glass, clearing the hospital beds they make the hold up crazy. Too emotional but no woman no cry as they are not the kryptonite for they do not commit the 9 crimes.

Running in the dark, though I'll never leave you because that's how love should be. In a moment like this,in the meantime the hand of god heals the scar made by the rock of ages no matter what. They ask to let me see that ass drop while on a holiday in the sun under cocktail umbrellas. Broken hearts find new hope as they shine on bronzing their summer skin. Each day gets better with no promises, as you are my rock my king kong. I want it from you despite the tears there will be sweet dreams. Accidental babies cause me to walk on the razors edge with no sun shine. Whenever I'm with you, they will always ask do you have a story to tell? They will never create a drift between us, living in the land down under they will always be going whoa! As I will tell them I will never be without you. They will justify that part of your world with mine. Though I may be the tyrant I will never flaunt it. If you leave now I will find a summer love to re-set the mood. They will give it to me bad, claiming me as the superfreak with the beautiful girl. Smoked out of the clubs you still say lets dance when there's no music playing. We waltz along as you have me right where you want me. Though we will rock this party getting the temperature high, you don't know why they still play baby, its a wild world. That's what I foresee when I grow up.

Dont try to understand this.. Make the best sense of it you can, cause I cant tell you what it means, I just means that iTunes is telling me to write it and you can tell me what you think it means. Happy interpreting!

Jensen

Delirious in the wee hours of the morning I write...

2008-11-13T03:42:00.005+09:00

Short and sweet today..

Stats exam pushed me to my last strings...

Annoyance is in the wind...

MA is not going to get the best of me...

7+ hours till I'm free...

Lunch on the 16th...

Drinks on the 17th...

Party on the 19th...

Party on the 21st...

Birthday on the 22nd...

Birthday on the 23rd...

Rest all the days in between...

Worries put on hold at 11.10 am 13th November 2008...

The home stretch is in sight...

Fresher year is over...

I will not put up a fight. This is how it must be...

I can see the light, Hear my plea ...

Allow me to be set free...
................................................................................................

The best is yet to come.
The wait is making me numb.
Forget being free.
Bring you to me.

Jensen Tan..
The one with faded plans..

"Early" Mornin Rant :)

2008-11-05T02:03:00.010+09:00

Time spent in preparation is rarely wasted. That's a line I know all too well, I first read this line from the Tomorrow series by John Marsden. A series of books on the lives of a circle of friends living somewhere in the outback as Australia is invaded. I don't know if you have read it or if you will like it, but I was quite hooked on it. Mmm so it was umm kinda lame in some sense (like a game where the main character will never be able to die cause that just goes against all expectations), I liked it all the same. There were some interesting plot lines in there, Things I probably will never imagine happening to me. If Australia was invaded while I was out camping with my buddies, gosh I would have no idea what to do. Blow up a bridge did you say? How about an aeroplane hanger? Hahaha perhaps if I was the son of Rambo. I think I'd find a nice shady spot with all my buddies close my eyes and hope that when I wake up I find that instead of there being a war I just hit the jackpot in lotto! hahaha. Well we can only dream now can't we? I don't know if I could find myself to start fighting an unknown enemy, but I guess if war breaks out all rules no longer apply. He who strikes firsts lives the longest yes? haha

With exams coming up this Saturday what is a guy to do but blog about study? I've tried reading notes, listening to lectures, I might even go to a consult. I just wonder where is this all headed? Do we really need to know how confidence intervals work? I don't think so, but then again there must be some upside to this learning, is there not? Maybe the only upside is the reward of not having to do it again? Then again I quote another passage "The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more" Did something just click in your head? Did you just go Oh snap! If I do this well I just get to do more? Did you just feel like kicking yourself in the head? Cause if you did then I'm pretty sure you're normal. I just want to know where this leads, but I guess that the thing about life, you never really get any answers just more questions. I mean really, everyone knows someone who went through uni just as I am right now (and if you're reading this your probably a buddy of mine doing uni too) and they do something like commerce and then they go out and turn into a fitness instructor. I mean WTF? Did you just say fitness instructor? I'm sure you have someone in mind that fits the profile. haha gosh.. what happens when war breaks out do we all just become survivors or casualties?

Gosh, talk about events outside of my control. I think I'll just let them flow for now. As far as I'm concerned I've got a small bubble to look after, family, friends and other material duties. Study would be Exhibit A. It seems that by getting my P's ( readers who are not from Australia P's are a reference to me getting my licence, and P is meant to stand for probationary I think) I have gotten some new responsibilities, Grocery shopping seems to have become a new chore, but that's ok. Oh and I think I just became an apprentice to the Mum's taxi service :) Life seems rather grand at the moment, smooth sailing and happy days are to come (after the exams that is).

Oh and if you happen to be binging on a song at the moment drop me a comment on what it is. That would be much appreciated :)

Happy Birthday Windah and Kev

Thanx

Jensen AKA Sonic AKA X-Island Boy AKA Jensy AKA ZZZzz

Dear M-Island Girl

2008-11-02T11:10:00.014+09:00

Hey yo! Gosh Its Like one week from exams!! Can you feel the pressure? Cause I sure can.. Oh gosh I hope this round of exams is a breeze, Maybe I'll watch some OTH while I'm at it :)

What been happening? Been Prepping for the looming onslaught? I know I haven't.. Hahaha GOOD GOSH! I was asking round for new tunez last night and all I got was lady gaga.. and someone directing me towards the top ten charts. What has happened to the world! what has happened when you can't find yourself a song to binge on! This is clearly going to hinder my studies..

Did you know that we are no longer freshers!.. How sad is that! I really really liked being a fresher.. No need to worry about second year units and what not. I just wish we could go back and start it all again cause it was a pretty good run I'd say.. for the most part at least. Are we going to do the time capsule? Maybe make our predictions for the coming year or something. haha.

Inebriated. That's what we all shall be after these exams. Especially since its going to be W's big day soon and same goes for a few other people. These darn exams are really messing with my dates, everything seems to be getting shifted back a couple weeks. Party it up after the exams!

s2 s2

X-Island Boy

Dear Ariels III

2008-10-30T22:39:00.005+09:00

Ariels!! Good gosh.. how was that fight!! haha lol well how was vince and just walking up right next to them. Haha I herd some people talking about it, aparently some dued called some girl fat and then well you know the rest. :P

Gosh.. no beach >< oww we'l make sure we do something. Did someone mention Kbox yeah? Perhaps we shall just go for dinner with all the friends? Well whatever you want k kiddo. We could probably all go ice skating!!

Hey do you reckon that the story you told me was true? I really Hope it was just a big hoax, and It it was.. boy do I feel sorry for that girl. People these days, can't they just do normal human things? Like have normal human relationships! :( lol pretty sure that girl working at city beach thought I was a tad *insert your own word here* ["awesome" is preferable =)] haha

s2

Sonic x

Dear Ariels 2

2008-10-27T20:10:00.003+09:00

Herro!

Good gosh.. did you know its like less then 4 hours till your birthday?? Whoppee!! Got your txt btw.. Beachy sounds like some good old fun in the sun for the weekend hey. Haha it was good partialy catching up the other night, that and stooging some of your mee goreng : ) pretty sure we should catch up more.. too bad the mum bum wanted me homes by 12. Did you guys end up going to Nee Nee's?

Bahaha The Fam Bam is goods. Everyone is going awesome. ++ I found my necklace today :) Thank god someone was nice enough to hand it in to the lost and found. What have you been up to lately?? hmm?? I mean apart from copying my Leavers jumper name thingo.

LOLOL how disturbing was that txt that Nee Nee sent maxo? Hahaha gosh I think theres something going on there *wink wink* Hows bouts your life these days? Getting stange disturbing txts from anyone? hahaha jkjk..

Luv Luv

Sonicx

Leanne..

2008-10-27T00:52:00.008+09:00

Today I had some values reinforced back into me. Today I had my eyes opened back again to see what I have and how lucky I am. Today I found good conversation with amazing people. Well one person to be more precise. She taught me to value the life I have and the importance of being humble, two things I was probably on close to straying from.

Auntie Leanne, One of the few aunties that are actually really really really grounded, I think to tell the story of Us we have to start from meeting through to today.

A couple of years back, back when I had an MD player and the cut I sported was the ohh so awesome "flat top". The fam bam was jetting off for what I remember to be a 9 day tour in China, making our way though some chinese airport, we spotted the most peculiar looking guy, miss matched socks, army like boots, and a hair cut that looked like a bird had started nesting atop his near bald head : P haha.. anyways.. His name was Alex, Alex the barrister from brissy, an awesome guy no doubt. His mother was Auntie Leanne, a woman that we would come to discover was one of wonder and a truly dazzling history. To this day I will learn to love and respect the amazing person she is. Perhaps my story of her is on that is one sided for I only know her side of her stories but I believe she is what she says and always will be.

After the whirlwind tour of china we lost contact with her, I don't know why and I don't know how but the important thing is that on a fine Saturday afternoon out at the Doctors We finally crossed paths again. It seemed it was fated that we should meet as she too was off to the doctors for a check up on that Saturday afternoon. and here is where her story starts, She is one year older then my dad, well into her 50's she drove herself from Brisbane to Perth in search of adventured I'd say. Coming to Perth and crossing paths with us sparked what I see to be an wonderful friendship.

Out for dinner tonight after a day of near disappointments, the family and Auntie Leanne decided that Miss Mauds buffet would be a nice touch to the night. There, serenaded by the long standing accordion playing, keyboarding chap. we listened to her stories attentively and laughed and gasped at what would be some of the most heart breaking and insightful stories I have ever heard.

As a young girl from Malaysia she was married by the age of 16 and giving birth to her first soon after her 17th birthday. Her marriage was one that I wonder about. In her words she described perhaps the most peculiar thing I have ever heard, though now that I think about it I wonder why I was surprised. How did she meet her husband, that would turn out to be a true blue loser? Well as a young girl her would be husband was persistent on them going to the movies. After some time she gave in and decided that her younger brother would probably enjoy it too. The younger brother is integral to this. After the movie he passed word to his mother that Auntie Leanne was off watching movies with *blah blah* (thats how was will refer to him from now on) Her mother being old fashioned and all promptly arranged their marriage to blah blah without asking if he was the one *that's how it was back then* anyway skip on out. Her husband turned out to be a tosser and a cheater, one that would go on to farther many a children with many a women, point is the bastard *blah blah* was soo bad that he drove Auntie Leanne to suicide, trice she attempted and trice she failed (Hold on a sec, ain't that from Harry Potter?). Once a knife to the chest saved by her lack of knowledge as to where the heart was she made painful work of trying to stab the chest plate. Her lack of knowledge of circuit breakers saved her from electrocution and her lack of knowledge of the stretchiness of curtain springs saved her from a gallows like ending. She can now look back and see how her lack of knowledge saved her from taking her life and I too thank god that she was none the wiser back then for I would not have been able to meet her or Alex. There's more to the story but it's just too much for a post. Just know that she is one in a million.

Today she is probably one of the strongest people I know. She carried alot of pain in her for a long time. Waking of nightmares in which she fought her now MIA husband. She came from living life on the off foot to one that I hold much admiration for. The courage it takes to be an individual like her I hope I will realise within myself one day. She has found god and something to believe in, I can see the good it has done for her and I hope she will grow from strength to strength as I see no bounds for such a character. Her warming personality and her inner strength tells me that there's hope for all of us still. May the sun always shine bright for her, and perhaps some of that light may reflect on to us.

Jensen

Dear Ariels..

2008-10-25T20:26:00.007+08:00

Sayy you!!

Wowee ariels!! You know what!! I have not seen you in like a kabagillion years!!! :( I mean really! ever since like that day that we passed each other in city beach we havnt seen each other. My gosh.. and worst thing is, you like like 15 mins walk from my place!!

Oww well.. How have ya been? Whats been happening? Gosh I can't believe you went to the beach without me! haha thats ok though we'l go sometime soon, mby after I get my licence. Oh and I still haven't forgotten that I owe you a drive out to the place where Jin got married so we'l go there sumtime later on aye.

Hows doggy going? I havnt been over lately so I havent seen the lil fluffball. Is he still spilling water everywhere and dropping puddings all over the place? Pretty sure I'm never wearing sock around your house again! haha and I'm pretty sure that last time he spilt water on your bed!!

You know theres only *looks at fingers* 3 days to your birthday!! wahaha what do you want?? Like really! haha well we'l go beachy for your bday hey. seeing as you cancled on today, perhaps next week will be more sunny :)

Hey tell me a secret.. haha seeing as you said you would be divulging sum awesome stuff.. haha

Luv ya

Sonic x

Such is life..

2008-10-24T09:28:00.014+08:00

Quelqu'un me font l'honneur et me donnent un coup de pied dans la tête!!!

Dont know what it means?? haha go google it!!

OK so today I have a ball.. yesterday I lost 4 things that were closest to my heart.. physically and emotionally, Clearly there must be a correction going on in the world I don't know how or why but something must be up. I'v never lost so much so fast. I don't know if i will ever recover the things I lost but I know i will always be looking for them. perhaps one day it will click and I will see it on someone. I don't know what will happen but let us hope that I find it before I feel anymore need to donnez-y un coup de pied dans la tête!

Such is life. Theres only so little you can do about so much, I once herd a person say that its not worth crying over something that cannot cry back for you. I guess if I take it to heart I will fair much better the next time round.

Today should be fun, 12pm and I have to be off to a graduation/ ball on a virtually blind date with a girl I hardly know.. hmm sounds like umm fun, let the awkward silences begin!! whats worst is that it may turn out to be a flame of a day (darn you global warming!) and I'm in a black heat trap of a suit. Gosh where is that air conditioner that was meant to cool the world?? Haha I'm sure I'll manage to find the spark in the day somewhere. Geez what am I talking about? Its going to be 12 hours with good friends and good conversation : ) I really look forward to tomorrow too, Happy Early Birthday Ariels!! and Happy Belated Birthday Hoffman!! Some fun in the sun should blur out some of my losses, sand in my toes and a salty sea breeze are the simple pleasures in life I have missed for far too long. I wont be held accountable for any nostalgia attacks I suffer as I know any sane person in my position would. I had better go now and get ready, theres ties to tie and laces to do. Lets hope the day has flow.

Jensen

Serendipity..

2008-10-23T00:03:00.007+08:00

I dont know why I like the word but I can guess..

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely

It all started at the movies on the Island. A typical night for me, a night to manage the canteen for a bit, sell some popcorn chat to some of the regulars comming by. " ahh you.. Mars Bar and a Passiona yeah? haha need I even ask sometimes? Chris probably pops in to say hi before he's off to the usual seats, 5th row if im not wrong. Some of the others drop by to grab sum nibblies and take their "seats" up the back.. lol

Anyways... tonight the movie is Serendipity, John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale *insert wolf whistle here* a story of pure awesomenes, I won't ruin it for you. Gosh by the end, serendipity just made it into my all time favourites. Haha don't ask me why but it just did. Watch it to find out actually.. You know what? If your reading this you are now obliged to go and watch the movie, not for you but for me =D anyways yeah pretty awesome word aint it? I mean really whats not to like? looking for something and finding something else thats awesome whilst not even intending to look for it.. Kinda like panning for gold and finding a diamond.

haha so thats how I fond out about that word. I have no idea why I blog about this kinda thing though.. gonna add sum kinda comment thingo soon so readers can umm drop "hints" lol ahahaha. yeah..

Jensen

The First.

2008-10-21T23:12:00.013+08:00

I am one person among many. Amongst the billions of people out there, within the millions of blogs around, how did you arrive at mine? I am but one man walking this earth. I am Jensen Tan.

Who am I? lf you ever met me I'd have said I'm from Christmas Island, Nice to meet you.

Perhaps we'd chat for a while, make quick conversation of our schools and who we may know in common. That's all nice now but just to keep things going I'll let you in on who I might also be.

I am Asian, decedents from Malaysia and China. I am in love with music, I really am. I play a couple instruments, not all that well but enough to keep me happy. I don't really know what else to write, there is probably is soo much more for you to read, understand and make sense of but I'm not sure if that's what I want to write about, I've seen 2 completely different types of blogs recently. One, a tab on the days events, kinda like taking the minuets in a court room. "ooh look today it was hot!" my friend proclaimed. The other was one of thoughts and written in code. teasing questions and seemingly providing insights. I'm not sure which is better nor which i will become like. perhaps abit of both sum little codded messages dropping hints about whats going on, and other times great spiels about what may have happened during a MA lecture or something of that sort.

Have you ever listened to music of a foreign language? Given you can't understand the language can you still like it? I know I can. Haha.. that said I have been song binging on Il Avit Les Mot - Sheryfa Luna, a french song recommended by a certain french speaking buddy of mine (UA). Haha there's your first reference Stef! anyhows.. The issues of the song would be reminiscent of many a holywood films, Girl finds older guy, Guy is already married, Girl finds out... dadadada and here comes the punch line... She finds out she's pregnant with his child. Really makes you wonder if people are singing about it, how many times has such a thing happened. Think about it carefully. The guy wont leave his family for the girl, the girl is left alone to provide for her child and the child has to grow up without a father, haha I don't know about you but is a guy like that really worthy of being a father? Look at it like this, He doesn't respect his family enough to stay faithful, He will father a child he will never rear, and both parties are left in utter turmoil. I just cant help but wonder why nature didn't just render people like him sterile and unapologetically rid the world of their genes.. haha clearly such people are not needed, though they do keep things interesting in a sinister kind of way atleast divorce lawyers get sum work out of it right? ><

seems I've rambled on enough for one night.. hope that was somewhat semi interesting.. theres uni tmr at 8.. seems like il be getting my average 4 hours sleep :) lol thanks for reading my first post.

Jensen